Building a Personal Board of Directors
“What do you do?”
I’d freeze. My mind would scroll through the spectrum of humor to honesty. Can I start this answer with “I’m intrigued by how our neighborhoods affect our health, I’m learning woodcut printing, I’ve started sending newsletters… ”
I tried to be the one to start the conversations at parties to avoid having to explain myself.
But I actually wanted to talk about what I was doing… or trying to do. The company I built in Kenya had come to define me in the eyes of many people. What I “did” when I was running that company made sense to people, and was pretty cool. When I stepped down, I did not have the next logical step lined up. Which didn’t just put me in a tricky position at parties, but in my professional journey.
When I learned about the idea of a Personal Board of Directors, it gave me a framework to collect people that could help me figure out what I wanted to do next, and figure out how to do it. I started to take note of people who weren’t on a conventional career track, but were consciously moving through different stages of building things, joining teams, switching industries and enjoying themselves. I added some reflective and creative writing friends. To balance out a mentor who had been invested in me for a long time, I looked for an objective coach. Here is how I built mine.
We need a Personal Board of Directors
“We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with”
This famous Jim Rohn quote forces reflection on some of the seemingly lowest stakes decisions that we make: who to have dinner with, and how to unwind after a hard week.
Directly or not the people around us shape the small decisions we make, and our small, daily decisions form our habits.
A Personal Board of Directors (BoD) might not be the people you spend the most time with, but they have an oversized influence on your decision making. And if you aren’t intentional about who gets that influence you might find yourself drifting in a direction unable to pinpoint how or why it was chosen.
Getting the right influencers is important because:
#1: You miss things on your own
We all need people that can turn the mirror around and force us to observe traits and behaviors that we don’t like to see in ourselves. I needed to better understand how I dealt with conflict and rejection to continue my journey – especially after a decade of being the CEO of my own business. There are a lot of challenges to total honesty: people who love you don’t want to hurt your feelings, people who look up to you think they shouldn’t challenge you too much. And honesty takes trust.
The Personal BoD will include people who will be honest, and help you remove your blind spots. It will include people who will gut check new ideas, and help brainstorm solutions.
#2: You need to say things out loud sometimes
I learned this when I started writing. I would come to my writing group with a verbose essay and a writing buddy would ask me fairly simple questions. What was this essay about?
“No, but I meant this,” I’d say, defending a particular paragraph. “Then write that,” my partner would say.
So many of us are in our heads and on our computers for so much of the day. It’s almost too easy to forget that the simple act of having to explain yourself outloud forces clarity on your thinking.
#3: You’ll get inspiration, and help
My Personal BoD is there to help open my eyes to what I can do, and to help me do it. I wanted people who can introduce me to people I might build products or companies with, or invite me to relevant events, or just ask good questions. I also loved the process notes on how experienced people I admired started companies, moved on, and evolved or reinvented themselves.
One of my mentors insisted that watching The Crown was meditative for him, and encouraged kindness and listening to what my body needed. I was able to see a massive career mind map done on home office white boards at the house of a good friend. I started to pick up on habits and behaviors that I could bring into my reinvention process.
Any creative, empathetic person could get a seat on the Board. I’ve been intentional to not fill mine with one archetype of success. But that decision was directly related to how I think about and visualize my own success, which is the first step in starting to build the team.
Visualizing Success
My Personal BoD was going to help me get “there”, but I also needed to figure out where “there” was for me. That meant visualizing success without adding too much detail on which job, which path. For others, these things might be top of mind.
It’s worth asking yourself and writing down:
What does financial, physical, personal and professional success look like to you?
What expertise do you need?
Who has done what you are trying to do?
Who is going to be important to your career?
I gave myself a lot of leeway to explore. To embrace writing, running and road trips as tactics to answer these questions.
Building a Personal BoD gave me a way to trust my process, but not so much that I don’t have a process.
You (Probably) Already have a Personal Board of Directors
Before I learned the phrase Personal Board of Directors, I had people who influenced how I make decisions. Decisions like what to prioritize, and when to quit.
Start to map out who already has your ear.
Is the page sparse or maybe even blank? If so, take a notebook everywhere with you for the next couple of weeks and note down your influencers.
Who is asking about your day?
Whose advice do you act on?
What podcast leaves you with a dozen tabs open at the end?
Whose ideas do you read about and then feel a need to share with others?
Who do you talk to about a tough boss/ job application/ new business idea/ compensation negotiation?
They might not be experts. Family, personal trainers, co-founders.
I looked back at how I thought about success: Intersect building in public with healthy urban design and stop sacrificing time for financial and physical health in the name of solving interesting problems.
My list needed some rounding out if I was going to get there.
Luckily I had a lot of people to pull from. As a start-up founder I went through the agony of asking people for help and money all of the time. I did this for my company but a huge benefit for myself was building a large and connected network of people who were interested in helping me.
I haven’t called anyone up and told them that I’m building a Personal BoD and want them on it (yet!). There is no verbal contract or commitment. But building this out is forcing me to spend more time thinking about how I grow and cultivate my network.
Here are eight ideas to help you do the same.
Network Growth
Members Clubs that organize around specific interests like The Conduit are everywhere in London. I’ve doubled the size of my UK network through joining.
There are cheaper ways to meet like minded people. I’ve started using Lunchclub to connect with entrepreneurs working on health equity globally.
I’m looking to grow my network further by bringing on a professional coach. Someone external to force honesty. A free tactic to get a different perspective is to cultivate a relationship with someone you respect but who often disagrees with you.
Network Cultivation
I use clay.earth to help me cultivate and manage my network, from tracking small follow-ups to setting relationships that I want to invest in on a regular cycle of communication.
This includes sending updates to the people who have helped me navigate decisions on how things are going. It is important to say thanks to the people who give us time or open up their networks.
My friend Erica has spent years researching and thinking about networks. This library is a treasure trove of apps, ideas and organizations all relating to cultivating and investing in networks.
Pay it Forward
My mentor Brian talks about doing small favors for people as much as possible. Making an intro, sending a relevant link. It makes it easier to ask for advice down the road.
Can you tell if someone else is trying to get you on their Personal BoD? Be nice about it, even if you are busy :)
Shoutouts
I took The WealthiHer Network’s event as a starting point, and hacked together my approach to a Personal BoD based on what I felt I needed.
For a totally different approach check out: The Bourbon Boardroom Playbook by Cam Houser